All posts by Vdixson

Beginning School

My oh my when I say time flies, it FLIES! I feel like it was just yesterday the doctor told me I was having twins and now they are officially little children entering Pre-K. Valeia was SUPER excited for the first day of school saying “Mommy I’m a big kid now!” Yes, she and her brother are now indeed “big kids” and I couldn’t be more proud of who they are becoming, while at the same time wishing time would slow down just for a little while to allow me to keep my tiny tots just a moment longer.

The night before school was filled with great excitement and confidence on the kids behalf and slight sadness and apprehension on my behalf. Why? Because even though this wasn’t my first experience beginning school with a child, it was my last. Not only was it my last time experiencing the first day of Pre-K, I also realized that this was the end of their care-free existence and now they were being inducted into adulthood (on a introductory level of course). What I mean by this is that expectations were now being placed on them and were being taught how to become productive citizens of the community by people outside of our immediate family. The small bubble placed around them was now going to be infiltrated by others with different beliefs and behaviors testing the moral foundations set by my husband and I.

From the time they could understand, my husband and I spoke encouraging words to our children, teaching them that the world is limitless and anything they strive for is within their grasp. Everyone has different experiences which shape them. I found that sometimes adults unknowingly cast their own doubt onto children making them dream killer’s instead of dream builder’s, having gone no further than their own glass ceilings. As we know peers have one of the biggest influences on decisions we make and I began to think how they would respond being placed with children who may not have come from the same type of uplifting environment.

I began to realize this thinking was not only unproductive but was the antithesis of what I believe. If my husband and I did as good job of building our children up, then they would influence their peers positively rather than allowing negativity to affect them. Their smiles would greet others with compassion and love, showing themselves friendly and willing to help the friends they meet along the way. After saying a little prayer, I felt more confidant and secure that my babies would be just fine and were two more little lights God placed in the world to shine bright in dark places.

The next morning when I watched them get on the bus, I smiled and waved watching them wave back, their little heads peeking out the window. As the bus pulled off I had tears in my eyes for they were beginning their own personal journeys. Every morning since that has been our routine. I kiss and tell them I love them and watch the bus pass and their little hands in the air waving back to me. Everyday I’m reminded that even though they are growing and learning to walk their on path, in every moment of pride and excitement, I’ll be there to wave them on.

Woman

She arises resplendent wearing virtue and honor as her armor, suppressing all fears and doubt allowing peace to reign freely. Her spirit unparalleled being able to conquer the most wanton of men with her soft speech that flows like the sweetest honey. She is the pinnacle of grace walking with her head held high, shoulders back radiating confidence with the gentle sway of her hips.  Her mind masterful, being capable of performing a multitude of tasks each done with preciseness and grandeur.  Her worth indispensable, she’s regarded higher than the most elite even with all their land and riches. Her kind words innumerable, strengthening the most dolorous souls, creating sunny rays in the midst of a hail storm. Her smile radiant, reflecting the pureness of God, genuine and mercifulness to all who are blessed to be in her midst. Who is this woman? She is God’s priceless masterpiece refurbished generation to generation as grandmother, mother and daughter.  She is the you in me and the me in her, an everlasting cycle of the most modest perfection.

Virronica Dixson

Losing a Grandparent

One of the most dreaded days of our lives is the day you wake up knowing that one who gave you life is no longer present on earth with you. It’s a very lonely feeling that for the past 6 months I had to pray my way through. As difficult as it was (is) for me, it’s even more heart breaking to watch your children grieve after explaining to them that their “MeMe” is now an angel in heaven and will no longer be physically present for them. Even though I am coping with my own grieve of losing my mommy, my children’s feeling of loss far outweighed my own and in essence served as a way to help me find a new normal.

The day my mommy left this earth felt like a blur. It’s still very surreal to this day. Instantly, as her daughter and eldest child, I felt an obligation to make sure that the woman who gave me the best of her had a send off that would make her proud. I went into automatic drive making her arrangements alongside my dad and brother. I didn’t get the opportunity to truly process what had occurred until I had to explain my mom’s passing to my children. My oldest son, who is 10, took her loss rather hard. He understood the permanence of death. The twins on the other had a difficult time grasping the concept of my mom being gone. My husband and I explained that MeMe was now in heaven with the Lord and having taught them who God was since they could talk, they took the explanation pretty well. I had to remind them of this often, especially when we  would go to my parents house and the first question they would ask was “where’s MeMe”? Now when one of them ask of her whereabouts, the other will say “MeMe is in heaven with the Lord”. Hearing them say that makes me sad and smile all at once because though I miss her soooooo much, she has gained her place beside the Throne of God.

Grief is an unexplainable phenomenon that effects people differently. My mommy was an AMAZING woman who could bring sunshine anywhere she went by her bright smile. I choose to cherish her memory by wearing that same smile on my face to bring happiness to those around me. She taught me so much, and to me it would be a disgrace to her life to be anything but jovial. I look at my children everyday and smile knowing not only how much I love them, but how much she loved them. I thank God for the copious amounts of photos I took or the beautiful cards she would write just to remind them they were loved. These memories will forever serve as a testament of her unconditional love.

Losing my mother was a experience that no amount of time could have gotten me ready for, but it’s the not-so-good part of life. I believe occurrences such as this is where the adage “live each moment to the fullest” came from because no amount of time of earth is guaranteed. My mommy truly lived like this and touched many people while doing so, one of which was mine. She will always be the brightest light that radiates from my soul and I am forever grateful to God that he chose me to be her daughter. 💗

                           I Listened

I listened when you said “baby always make time pray”

I listened when you said “I know He’ll make a way”

I listened when you said “because of Him I live”

I listened when you said “you were the best of me I could give” 

I listened when you said “trouble doesn’t last always”

I listened when you said “hold your head high and articulate what you have to say”

I listened when you said “sorrow only last a night”

I listened when you said “but joy comes in the morning light”

I listened when you said “baby girl you must be smart”

I listened when you said “you will always be my heart”

I listened when you said “I might not be here throughout all your days”                                       

I listened when you said “but I gave you my love that will last always”

-Virronica Dixson

Knowing your Limits

As almost every parent in the world with children know that sometimes you reach your 100 Fahrenheit, also known as your boiling point. Depending on the day, your demeanor and how you deal with stress, some people hit this point sooner than others. With the dynamite duo, they sometimes tend to work together to help me get there faster than when it was just our eldest son. None the less, as fast as they can aggravate is as quickly as they can entertain and turn my day right back around and continue to cloud nine.

How to prevent yourself from becoming enraged? Know when enough is enough! Before you go off the wall like Michael Jackson and ring the alarm like Beyonce (two of my favorite artists), give yourself a time out whether thats putting on headphones so you don’t hear the noise while being in the midst of chaos or just taking a 15 second mental potty break. Look at yourself in the mirror and remember that you were made for this and dig in and reach for that supermom power that all mothers have and conquer the situation like the Olympic champion you are. Now depending on the circumstance, you might not be a gold medalist (meaning you kept cool and calm through the entire ordeal) but maybe you finish with a silver (lost your marbles a little but got them back) or even bronze (took a while but your calm because they are now in bed and you finished your first glass of wine). However it happened, you and your tiny tots made it safely through the day and some days that’s all we can ask for.

 

Allergies and Emergencies


One of the most frightening events occured at the end of last year. My daughter, after eating cashews, had a severe allergic reaction in which my husband and I had to call 911. Her eyes were almost swollen shut, she began wheezing and hives were apparent on majority of her little body. Talk about feeling helpless, nervous and most of all SCARED! Right away I gave her Benadryl® hoping that the antihistamine would help alleviate the reaction as we didn’t have an EpiPen Jr® for this type of emergency. Thankfully, once the emergency team arrived, they were able to give her medicine and take her to the hospital where she was immediately treated and released.

After our ordeal, we followed up with an allergist in which we learned she was allergic to tree nuts. She prescribed us an EpiPen Jr® in case she ever experienced an allergic reaction in the future. She prescribed us multiple pens to keep in a safe place in the house, daycare, car and one to keep in us at all times because you never where and when a reaction could occur. She suggested to have 2 pens handy. If an allergic reaction was to occur give her the medication followed by a second dose. The doctor explained that sometime anaphylaxis can occur even after a dose is given so a second dose can help decrease the possibility of a second occurrence.

With my little darlings being toddlers, they are still experimenting with different foods and being placed in different environments. I would advise any parent to introduce one new food at a time just in case a reaction does occur, you can easily pinpoint the culprit. Of course when a reaction like this occurs you’d be hesitate to offer your little treasure anything new but I say it’s better they be in your presence when a reaction occurs than with someone else.  I make sure all new foods and environmental exposures are tried under parental guidance  where we can administer medication quickly if need be.

In conjunction with my daughter being allergic to tree nuts, my son (her twin brother) was found to be allergic to fish so we needed double the amount of medication.  Purchasing an EpiPen® even with insurance, can be pricey. Luckily I found that Mylan Specialty, maker of EpiPen Jr ®,offers $0 copay with their discount card that you can receive instantly online for FREE! Just click Epipen Jr® to be sign up for your free card.

Knowing what to look out for in case of an allergic reaction is the key to keeping your baby safe. Learn the signs for your precious munchkin’s such as wheezing, hives, swelling, increased heart rate just to name a few.  There are 4 systems of the body which  anaphylaxis can trigger which include respiratory (breathing), integrumentary (skin), cardiovascular (heart) and digestive (stomach). My doctor informed me that if two systems are reacting, epinephrine should be administered. A good example would be my daughter for instance; she was wheezing (respiratory) and she had hives (integrumentary). For more information regarding anaphylaxis, please visit Kidshealth.org.

Being a parent isn’t easy but it’s always worth it. Keep your baby blessing’s as safe and healthy as possible. They are our future.

Loving Yourself

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With Valentine Day approaching, what better time is there to talk about love? Those four powerful letters serve as a representation of the deepest heart felt emotion one person can have for another, but today I want to remind you that as much as you love another, you must first fall in love with who you are first.

I know it sounds kinda narcissistic or some may call it arrogant but I’ve learned you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT love anyone fully without loving yourself first. What I mean by this is if the love meter for yourself is filled halfway, you cannot truly give your everything to the ones you love, you’re just giving them all of what you have but not necessarily what you have to offer. The love meter for yourself is composed of self esteem, self worth, self fulfillment and confidence. Being a mom all these things are centered around your beautiful creations but at some point you become tapped out if these things aren’t taken care of for you. With a world of craziness around us, we as mothers must become our own stability. Women take on various roles, wear many different hats which others depend on you to keep themselves centered. Love is the key to holding steadfast in difficult situations.

If your out shopping (which is a fundamental part of being a mom) go ahead and treat yourself to a gift. Doesn’t have to be large, it could range from a box of chocolates, new shoes or an outfit, to new furniture or diamond necklace, but it’s to commemorate the wonderful mother you are and to fill your love meter for yourself because you’re worth it.

If you’re going out, take the time to dress up and put your best foot forward. When you look good you feel good and others can see the confidence oozing from your inner beauty to your outward.

Join a work out class. I know time can be limited but try to fit a workout in for yourself. I recently joined Zumba after being invited by two wonderful women and I absolutely LOVE IT! It’s a way to release stress and work your body while having fun. The benefits include looking better, feeling better and being even more of a love goddess to your husband (wink wink).  There is no bigger compliment than when your spouse tells you how extraordinary and sexy you look. Ladies it’s a win win 😃.

Love where you are in life and whose around you. Love the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you dress and wear your hair. LOVE IT ALL! Take pride in who you are because there is no one on the face of this earth like you. God made each of us special and unique so I say walk in it. Once you realize the power you harness to change situations, to motivate others and to be a comfort to your family, you’ll know that you are indeed a Supermom!

Happy Valentine Day to all the BEAUTIFUL Supermoms inside and out ❤

 

 

Two is for Teaching

Most people call it “the terrible two’s” but I think it should be called “the teachable two’s”. This is the age that learning is at it’s pinnacle and when modeling can become habit if you take the time to teach your tots.

Potty training of course is a huge milestone that most two year old’s achieve but what about the development of good habits such as making the bed, cleaning up after meals, picking up toys when they’re done playing, or the biggest of them all, manners? I say why not get a head start.

Once my tiny tots began to talk, my husband and I began teaching them to say “please” when making requests and “thank you” once the request was fulfilled. This soon became habitual requiring very like effort on our part. Now that their vocabulary has expanded, we’re teaching them proper grammer while speaking such as saying “she hit me” instead of “her hit me.” Correction now leads to instinct later.

My tiny tots, especially my daughter, took interest in assisting me with household chores. They watched me vacuum, sweep, mop and wipe down causing them to reciprocate the same behavior. When crumbs are on the floor, they ask if they can help me vacuum. I let them because in a few years chores won’t be a foreign concept but one that they have already become familiarized.

Getting dressed is a huge part of their independence, one that requires patience from you. By 2 my daughter could put on her own clothes because she desired to be independent, my son on the other hand could do the same but it required more patience on my part to help him learn. Dressing is important especially when potty training. They should be accustomed to pulling on and off their pants or it will just make potty training all the harder.

Teaching begins in the house hold NOT at school. By 1, my dynamic duo could not only site their alphabet but also could name their body parts. Their grandmother, who has been a child care provider for 25 years, also assisted in helping them with their shapes and colors. You’d be surprised how simply saying “May you hand me the black square pillow please?” can subconsciously teach them manners, shapes and colors without much effort.

Your tiny tots are sponges and can learn almost anything effortlessly. This even mean they can pick up on bad habits of yours being their primary role model. They are a reflection of how you act and soeak. If you use profanity often, don’t be surprised if they pick it up and use a few choice words, correctly might I add.

Learning is fundamental so make it fun and you’ll see them blossom into marvelous little beings.

Double Care

There is no better feeling than to see the babies you’ve given birth to interact with the wonderful  people who gave birth to you. There is an irreplaceable love that instantly forms from the moment they gaze into one another eyes.  So what happens when you need to become caregiver of not only your kids but your parents too? What I would suggest are to pray, get rest and try your hardest to find balance.

During my 2 month hiatus, my mother fell ill.  Not only was it stressful worrying about my mother’s recovery, but also finding a way to be present for everyone including my kids, sibling, parents and spouse. Being at the hospital until late, picking up my children, cooking and still maintaining a decent household very quickly took its toll.  As a woman, we have a propensity to keep going and going until we become physically and mentally tapped out. Once I became noticeably agitated and exhausted I knew it was time to make some alterations. I had to set specific times to visit my mom at the hospital, allowing me more time to spend and truly enjoy the company of my husband and children without feeling overwhelmed.

Of course being at the hospital, I wanted to make sure my mom was being cared for properly. Once I was satisfied with the care, it made it easier to sleep at night knowing she was in good hands. I also learned to accept help from family members and close friends who had experienced similar occurrences  in their lives and wanted nothing more than to help and be there for my mom and family. This made it easier to devote more time to my children and husband without the guilt of not being present at the hospital 24/7 and it was necessary for my own mental stability.

I also learned that though I wanted to be everywhere and do everything, it wasn’t possible. I had to take time out for me which would consist of me relaxing on the couch watching the latest tv show or alone time with my husband watching a movie. Just recently my wonderful husband surprised me with tickets to see Janet Jackson which was a GREAT and much needed date.

Though I’m still learning how to cope with being a duel caregiver, I have been taught by others who have walked this road before not to feel guilty for taking time for yourself. It’s not only desirable but necessary. As my aunt told me, “you can’t take care of anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first”. If your lucky enough to have parents as great as mine, taking care of them is something you take pride in because of the morals they have instilled in you and the opportunities they’ve made possible. Love and honor your parents remembering that everyday is not promised so cherish every moment and never EVER take them for granted.

Welcome Back!!

Hello twin moms!!!  After a short hiatus this supermom is back at it again with new tips, tricks and humor to make the journey a little smoother.

If your lucky enough to have an older child (or children) you know that back to school is a VERY busy time of the year. Between getting the necessary supplies, clothes and shoes and becoming acclimated to a new teacher, maintaining your sanity can be tough. Just like the newborn stage with twins, it will soon get easier as soon as you establish a routine that works best for you and your household.

Here a few things that have worked for me;

  1. Purchase a large calendar and write down all the monthly activities . It will TRULY assist you keeping order.  Make sure you and your spouse phone calendars are in sync so that nothing easily slips between the cracks event wise
  2. COMMUNICATION IS KEY! If you see yourself becoming overextended be sure to express this to your honey bun. You both are a team so learn to lean on each other and know one another’s weaknesses so you can help one another before anxiety kicks in.
  3. Set boundaries and expectations for your children; If your older babies arrive home when your twin blessings are sleeping, inform them that until their nap time is over they must be quiet when entering the house.  If your babies go to bed early, set that time as quiet time for your older children.
  4. Pay attention to your daily routine and adjust your schedule accordingly. It may not be feasible to cook dinner at 5:30 pm if your nursing or your older child has extracurricular activities. Maybe prep dinner earlier when they are napping so you can just pop it in the microwave later or into the oven. Hyperviglance is the key!
  5. Be cool! Things pop up and things happen. Learn to go with the flow. It has happened multiple time to me that the babies will be ready and all of a sudden one of them decide to go to the bathroom. Try to give yourself extra time to avoid the inevitable.
  6. Minimize multitasking if you can. Mom and multitasking go hand in hand, but sometimes its difficult to truly pay attention to your older kids homework or rundown of their day if your cooking, changing diapers and laundry at the same time. Try to devote personal time to truly engage with your school aged children. It truly matters.

I wish your children the best during this school year and that you mom’s maintain your sanity 🙂